HOUR 58

Cracked open my first alone-beer. Loneliness has never tasted so good.

HOUR 57

KEEP CALM AND JERK ON

HOUR 55

Why in the world does this stupid journal have so many views? Don't you kids in Malaysia have anything better to do? I know I don't. Everyone is talking about the Canucks game and I honestly cannot hide the fact that my knowledge about hockey is about level with Josef Fritzl's chances of winning "Father of the Year."

Speaking of incestuous nefariousness, light has finally been shed on our age-old question, "If a boy were to conceive a child with his mother, would he be the father or the brother?" The child and the boy in question would have different fathers, and I think the title of father trumps half-brother. Hmm. A better question is why did we spend so much time pondering this when we were too unspeakably young to be wondering about this?

HOUR 52

Stayed in bed until 4:00 pm, so much for studying all day. Nocturnal mode, engaged. On an unrelated note, snapes on a plane.

HOUR 44

Two things.

Firstly, just read this (listen up Murphy)

"[a] phobia is an example of a reaction formation. The person wants what he fears. He is not afraid of the object;he is afraid of the wish for the object. The reactive fear prevents the dreaded wish from being fulfilled."

So basically you love missing limbs, Keely. You want to rip off the prosthetics and make a hot mess, just you and the stub. Isn't that nice? I just saved you years of therapy.

Secondly.
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HOLY SHIT I JUST MADE THE WORST DECISION I'VE EVER MADE IN MY LIFE. HOW THE FUCK RESEARCHING " DEFENSE MECHANISMS" LEADS TO MOTHERFUCKING "JARSQUATTER.COM" I WILL NEVER KNOW. HOLY BUNNY FUCK BALLS DISEASES. I'D RATHER WATCH A MILLION ORPHANS BURN THAN WATCH THAT EVER AGAIN.

HOUR 43

This is the last sunrise-sunset day without one of my bitchez, and it's gone surprisingly wonderfully, other than the fact that I've hardly studied. Which isn't really a surprise, but let's consider what is:

• I have slept a grand total of 5 hours throughout this. 
• None of those hours took place last night
• I haven't gotten drunk alone
• I haven't gotten drunk with anyone else either
• I've done laundry, showered daily, and kept up health
• I feel phenomenal

Instead of taking the obvious assumption of considering that perhaps I am able to live alone, let's be a little more analytical (hee hee ANALytical... grow up). It is much more likely that I am so crippled with alienation that my body is reacting the opposite way, that I'm dealing with my anxiety with a reaction formation to love it. Let's just hope that this doesn't spin itself into something crazy that makes me attack Keely when she walks in the door. 

Just kiiiidding Keely, you can be certain I'll savagely attack you. BY THE WAY, SPEAKING OF MISSING THE CRAB/LOBSTER FIGHTS.

Claw Hands Woman - Free videos are just a click away

HOUR 31

Still not lonely. Hmm. No new inventions or crazy ideas, and I haven't been caught staring at people out the window. We're at a bit of a lull I guess... I'll pound caffeine to get these creative thoughts going. I went out in broad daylight for the first time today, but I managed not to make eye contact with anyone. Success. WHY YOU LOOKIN' AT ME??? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?? By the way, I found a really darling picture of Asia and her love child

T'aaaawwwwwwwhhh isn't her mustache dashing